Glory Hog
by Happy Stalker Ball
Summary: Just a short little piece poking fun at the ending of X2. Meant for fun.


**A/N: **This is like an over dramatized ending of X2. It's just for fun. I just thought the ending of the movie would've played out better if certain people had been unconscious so as to make the situation a little more believable and less aggravating, but oh well. What do I know? There are things mentioned here that pertain to either the comic and cartoon universe, so if something throws you off, that's probably way. _If you can't take a little fun, I'd suggest you leave now. _

"Okay," Jean sighed. "Here goes," she muttered to herself, a hint of madness glistening in her eyes. She smiled to herself. _Everyone will love me, now, _she thought, overjoyed. _They'll all love me! _She made her way towards the exit of the plane.

**OoOoO**

"I can't get this thing to go!" Storm cried, clutching the chopper's controls. Tears sprang to her panicked eyes. "Come on, baby," she whispered to the controls, "move, please? Move."

"Storm, get this thing offa the ground!" Wolverine hollered.

"Logan, I can't!" She cried, staring at the controls, horrified. Logan marched into the room.

"Whaddya mean, you **can't**?" Logan shouted once there. "Woman, you control weather! Make winds strong enough to lift the plane off the ground, or for that matter," he waved his claws towards the window, "direct that flood of water in a different direction!"

Storm looked up at Logan and shook slightly with terrified bewilderment.

"What?" she whispered her eyes wide and shiny with unshed tears.

"Storm! You don't have that codename for any ol' reason- we call you that because you control weather and you can _fly_, so," Logan waved again towards the oncoming flood of water. "Go out there and show that water who's boss!"

Storm stared at Logan stunned. After a few moments of silence passed, the stunned expression vanished and an utterly horrified one took its place.

"And leave my baby all alone?" She cried out, horrified at the very thought of doing such a terrible thing. Wild tears rolled down her cheeks. "_NEVER!_" she screamed, throwing her body onto the controls. She began frantically fumbling around with them. "Never! You'll never make me leave my baby!"

Logan stared at Storm, shocked. "I think somebody's..." he stopped suddenly when he glimpsed something red out the window. "What's Jean doing outside?!" he yelped.

**OoOoO**

Elsewhere in the X-men's wonderful jet....

"Bobby!" Rogue cried, "Get out there an' freeze the water!" Bobby looked at Rogue, dazed. "_Ice_-man," Rogue emphasized 'ice'. "You turn water into ice-_hello?_"

"But, Rogue-I- I don't want to leave you here, by yourself," he looked at her through concerned blue eyes. Rogue felt her resolve, along with her heart, begin to melt.

"But-but," she tried to protest, but the fiery love in his icy eyes melted away all common sense along with any further attempts at questioning him. She smiled sweetly. "Okay."

"_VHAT?!_" Kurt screeched, staring at the duo with undisguised shock. "Ve'll die!" he wailed in this thick accent.

"Kurt," Rogue gently chided him, "Bobby does not wish to leave my side. He wants to make sure I'm safe." She talked to the blue mutant as though he were a small child.

Kurt's jaw dropped. "But-ve-zis isn't good," he sighed, and then brightened. "Rogue, why don't you borrow Bobby's powers and go freeze the water yourself?"

"What?" Rogue cried, clutching Bobby's hand with her gloved one. "And leave my little Bobby all by himself?" She shot daggers at Kurt with her eyes. "Never!" She huffed. "I have to make sure he's safe!"

"But." Kurt began before being cut off by the Professor who'd been watching them from his chair in the corner of the room.

"Kurt, stop nagging you sister," he chided the blue mutant. "And speaking of family, stay away from you mother. Don't ask her stupid questions. We told you what she could do. You stay away from her-she's bad news," Xavier informed him. Kurt blinked, unsure how to react.

"Vhat?" He stared at the professor thoroughly confused. "Come again?"

Xavier sighed. "I'm afraid now's not the time," the professor shook his head and looked out the window at the foreboding water. "I'll explain after we're safe."

Kurt stared at the professor still shocked and confused. "Vhy don't you just use your mind powers to stop it?" he asked through his confusion. At this, the professor gave a hearty chuckle.

"And miss seeing how well my students handle this?" he laughed at the idea. Kurt blinked rapidly and his jaw dropped even further.

"Well, we're not handling it very well, Chuck," Logan stormed into the tiny passenger room, "Storm's cracked, Jean's outside _dancing_ and Cyclops is curled up in a corner sulking."

"Enough," Xavier commanded Logan. He was about to continue when Cyclops ran in.

"Scott!" Rogue and Bobby cried happily, still clutching each other's hands.

"_JEAN!_" Scott yelled, throwing himself at the door. Naturally, the door didn't budge. "Jean, my sweet, you're the reason I live! You're my obsession-without you, I'll cease to exist! Oh, Jean, you mean everything to me," he serenaded her through the door of the plane. He scratched desperately at it. "Jean you can't do this! Not now, Jean! We still have to get married!"

"Hey, bub," Wolverine shouted as Scott reached up towards his shades. "Don't do that!" Logan jumped on Scott and pinned him to the ground before he could remove his shades.

"_JEAN!_" Scott screamed, then looked at Logan. "Get offa me, Wolverine!" He yelped, struggling beneath him. "_JEAN!_" The two began rolling around on the floor.

"Isn't it cute when guys fight over girls?" Rogue giggled to Bobby. He smiled.

"I'd fight any guy for you," he flashed his most winning smile. Rogue lowered her eyes cattily and then met his and smiled. Logan glared at the two from his position above Scott.

"Are you two lovesick bimbos nuts?" he growled. "I'm not fighting over Jean. I'm fighting for my _**life**_. If his shades come off, laser blasts are gonna fill this tiny box!"

"Awww, making up excuses?" Bobby teased.

Wolverine glared at him, but a light smile played on his lips. "Well, Jean would be nice," he murmured.

"Zis is _INSANE!_" Kurt took up his wailing again. Xavier whirled around to face Kurt again, prying his eyes away from Scott and Logan on the floor.

"Oh, Nightcrawler- Kurt- I almost forgot. While on the family issue," he cleared his throat, "Magneto's daughter, the Scarlet Witch, Wanda, I don't know about her. I mean, can't you find someone to tie the knot with that isn't so close in their relations to Magneto?" By now, Kurt had backed into the wall, bewildered.

"Insane," he murmured. "Insane."

"You don't want to go back to the circus now, do you?" Rogue teased the bewildered mutant and winked. "Brother?" Kurt stared at Rogue confused and horrified.

"Yeah, you don't want to go back to the circus now, do you?" Bobby mimicked Rogue.

Kurt took his horrified gaze off Rogue and focused on Bobby. "This makes the circus look tame!" The "Incredible Nightcrawler" exclaimed.

"_AHHH!_ The power!" Xavier cried from his chair. "I'm getting strong signals!" He clutched his head with his hands. "The power," he gasped before going limp.

"_Professor!_" Rogue and Bobby cried.

"Yes?" Xavier's mouth opened but a feminine voice came out. Bobby nudged Rogue.

"I knew it," he hissed.

"Shhhh," she hissed back, elbowing him. "Are you okay, Professor?"

Xavier's head rolled back before focusing on Rogue and Bobby. "It's me, Jean," Xavier spoke.

Bobby stared at the professor. "Oh, yeah, it all makes perfect sense now..." He let his sarcastic comment trail off as Scott pushed Logan off of him.

"_JEAN!_" Scott screamed with glee, throwing his arms around the professor. "Oh, Jean, sweetie- I love you!"

The professor held up a hand to shush him. "I know, but," a very mischievous smile played on the professor's lips and Jean's voice changed from gentle to unbelievably happy in two seconds flat.

"But, I'm gonna be a hero! I'm gonna be a hero!" Jean sang happily. Using her mind powers, she treated the professor as a rag doll. Soon she had the professor out of the wheel chair and dancing to her "Hero" song.

"I'm gonna be a hero," Jean's voice sang as the professor's hips shook about wildly with his hands. "A hero, a hero, a hero! A heroine!"

Kurt watched the scene play out before his eyes. "I got to get of here," he muttered. He closed his eyes and teleported, relieved at having a way to escape the insanity.

"I'm gonna be a hero," rang in Kurt's ears. _No, please, no, _Kurt silently pleaded before forcing his eyes open. The professor's body was now on the floor break dancing. Jean's voice continued to flow from Xavier's mouth. He was still on the plane!

"A hero! A hero, I say!" Then she changed the tune slightly along with the lyrics. "I'm gonna be the Phoe-nix, yeah! The Phoe-nix, yeah! Phoe- nix! _Whoop!_"

"_JEAN!_" Scott threw himself on the professor again. "I need you!"

"_HA!_" Jean snapped as the professor's hands pushed Scott away. "You're just jealous because you aren't going to get any of the glory! It's mine! All mine!" With one last "whoop" Jean left the professor's body.

"_**NOOOOOO!**_" Scott cried, clutching the body. In that instant, Xavier returned to his body. He stared at Scott, shocked.

"Cyclops, if you please?" He gently pried Scott off of him. "Not in front of the team," he muttered.

"Jean!" Scott cried, curling into a ball on the floor. "Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean," he continued chanting her name.

Logan looked down at Scott, unsure what to do. "Hey, uh," he shrugged and looked away, something else bothering him. "Hey, Chuck," he spun around so he could look the professor in the eye. "Where were you?"

At this the professor smiled. "Visiting other alternate dimensions," he grinned, then remembered something and gasped. "Rogue," he cried, turning to look at the girl.

"Other?" Logan looked confused.

Rogue looked at the professor. "Yeah?"

"Please, whatever you do, don't ever marry Magneto," he told her, his voice grave. Rogue's eyes went wide.

"My father-in-law, right?" Kurt asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes!" Xavier cried, "Rogue that is just wrong! I mean, marrying your brother's father-in-law! If you're going to marry along those lines, at least shoot for Magneto's son, Pietro. That wouldn't be so bad." Xavier sighed and shook his head. "Still, I don't know..."

By now, Rogue looked beyond horrified and Bobby looked terror- stricken. "My Rogue marry Magneto?" he whimpered, clutching Rogue's hand harder. "Never."

"Oh, and Bobby, try not to fall in love with every girl Scott's brother, Alex, does. It's just annoying," the professor informed Iceman.

Bobby's eyes went wide as he absorbed this piece of information. "What? Scott has a brother?" Xavier nodded in reply.

The professor whirled around to face Logan again. "Woverine?"

"Yeah?" Logan grunted.

"I know your real name is James Howlett."

Logan's eyes got wide with excitement. "Yeah? What else do you know about me?" He acted like a child about to receive a present on his birthday.

"That's it," Xavier shrugged. "That's all I know."

Logan growled at him. "Way to get my hopes up, eh?" Xavier smiled.

He turned towards Rogue again. "Now, Rogue, about Gambit.."

"Insane," Kurt whispered. He turned his attention towards the window. The water was quickly approaching and Jean was outside doing cartwheels and happy dances. "Dear Lord," Kurt cried, lifting his head heavenward, "Vhy me? Vhy?! Get me out of here please?"

"_JEAN!_" Scott screamed.

"James? That's my name?" Logan whispered.

"And, Bobby, about Lorna," Xavier droned on while Bobby and Rogue clung to each other shaking with fear at Xavier's romance stories that involved them _not_ being together.

"Ve're all going to _diiieeee!_" Kurt moaned, slumping to the floor.

"That's right!" Storm's joyful shout echoed throughout the small plane. "That's my BA-BY!"

Xavier jerked his head towards Storm's voice. "Speaking of Ororo," he muttered, "I've got to tell her not to wear her hair up in a mohawk."

Bobby gasped, while Rogue clung even tighter to him. "Storm with a mowhawk?" he asked, trying to picture such a thing.

Xavier nodded. "Yes, I've got to tell her that, I've still got to finish with you two, and Kurt- I need to tell him about Amanda, and I need to tell Logan about _Mariko_ and_ Kayla."_ An overjoyed whoop from Storm cut off Xavier's panic attack.

"That's right, baby! Move, honey, _MOVE!_" She screamed from the control room. "Oh, yeah!"

"Ve're moving off the ground!" Kurt cried, happily.

Logan glared at him, "Well, yeah, Elf, Jean said she'd save us," Logan told Kurt matter-of-factly. "Was there ever any doubt?"

"We're getting out of here!" Storm shouted to the passengers, then turned her attention back to the plane's controls. "Isn't that right, baby?" she whispered.

"_JEEEAAANNN!_" Scott screamed.

"_PHOENIX! I'M GONNA BE THE PHOENIX! PHOENIX! PHOE..._" Jean's gleeful shouting from below could be heard on the plane.

"Wait 'till you hear about ONSLAUHT!" Xavier shouted over the noise to Rogue, Bobby, Kurt, and Logan. Scott continued rolling on the floor.

"_NOOOO!_ She's gone!" He gasped. "_GONE! JEAN! COME BACK!_" Rogue looked down at Scott and gave him a light kick to hush him.

"You don't need her," she huffed. "She was nothing but a glory hog."

**OoOoO**

_Happy Fourth! _


End file.
